Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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