I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
