So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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