Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
