he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was born a porn star she said
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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