Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
