i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
