I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
