im about as happy as oj after his trial
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
