Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
