That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
