i would punch a child for taco bell
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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