About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
