trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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