first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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