sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
