I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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