the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We need to get me chipped asap
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
