plz talk dirty to me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
