I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
