Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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