we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
