The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
