I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
