Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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