Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
