Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
