If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
