And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Success! We fucked roommates!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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