everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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