when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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