why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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