what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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