problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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