you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
