Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
