I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
