Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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