My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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