We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
