Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
