Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
