How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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