I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
