just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
