i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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