hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
