when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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