i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
