Those balls look pretty dangerous.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
