Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
