Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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