can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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